What kind of parents say sorry to their kids?
MY KIND.
My dad, i sent him an email, for the first time in my life, i was actually being frank to him, about everything (not all, but only everything he needs to know), my lame life. i cant help to cry when i was typing. i was literally scared, is he going to be pissed, taken aback, terguris hati? will he cut me off with a "get studying and stop being a baby" sorta comeback....
He rarely opens his email (i guessed). hopefully he doesn't at all. or maybe i should just give it a week, like that. To my surprise, the day after, my phone rang with an email, showing his face. He replied. quite fast. very! cuak gila! i cannot open it, i cannot open it, i shall not read it ! Im not ready to face what he thinks of me..and the 'dictation'.
...
I WAS WRONG.
I TRULY UNDERMINED HIM.
His reply, was brief but concise. Exactly what i needed. My heart was throbbing. He is right. He's always been so.
Gee, this is the first time i think i got to reach that other side of him. Somehow i felt so close to him.
I didn't get back to him, didn't call him at all until now. I'm kinda waiting for him to do so. But it doesn't matter. Getting back to him and saying "Thank you ayah." and "No ayah, I should be the one saying sorry" is not enough. NOT ever enough.
As far as my concern goes, my sorry will never equate to his sacrifice, his understanding of me, his love for me. I will forever be grateful of you, forever be thankful, forever i will owe you, that in a million years of anything can never outrun it.
...
I'll hold on to this feeling, and use it in my duas.
My dad, he does not deserve my forgiveness or anything else, except that from the moment he breathe his first air in this world, the moment his voice is heard, that moment his eyes opened, HE IS FORGIVEN BY ALLAH. From that day he is born, and now, until after and after and after, no matter what, it is only fair that he deserves, for Allah Almighty, the All Kind, All Merciful, All Forgiving, to excuse all his sins, to be showered with Allah's thorough Love and Compassion, blessed with His mercy only.
For he is a father, who said that tiny "sorry" to his child. When he verily is not, is never in the position to do so...but he did say so. When me, myself, on the other hand, i had always wronged him. It was I who was always hurting him, not him. not ever...Still, he told me he was sorry...
And now i owe him my life.
Ya Allah..i don't know how to repay him. I'm embarrassed. He deserved nothing more, not a word, not a tear, nor gold nor position is equivalent, but it is Your utter blessing and forgiveness. The day when there is no other savior but you, when everyone is greedy for Your forgiveness, O Allah, please forgive my father.
I miss you, and by Allah, i love you so much ayah. If only you know. i couldn't thank you enough. But Allah, He shall be the one to thank you. And Allah, only He can make it enough for you.
:'(
Oh Allah, please forgive my ibu also.. when i was in malaysia, i was always in an argument with her. i kept sinning, im such a disobedient child, i cant control my emotions when i'm with ibu..and ayah.. :( its 3 times already i dream of them. When my mom cant send me to the airport. she was sad..she kept calling me. i was sad too ibu. i was sad too you couldnt make it..I didnt get to say sorry..Please forgive me ibu. Ya Allah please forgive my parents..
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