Budak lambat dan malas

For the first time in my life, to count as an unexceptional experience, i lost it and actually cried in front of the Dr, during my oral examination with him.

I would feel guilty for not doing so, as i was manifesting the utmost loser any student can be. I couldn't properly answer even 1 question!! I tried in my casual attempt of last minute studying, and it succeeded to fail me as i got all the facts scattered and confused. Equals to=i know nothing.

As much as hateful i am to myself, i'm more in guilt towards him, that he as a teacher would feel disappointed to encounter such a student. But he turned out unexpectedly, forgivingly encouraging. I did ask for him to ask me more questions, but we ended with him praying for Allah to be with me, and i will pass the exam.

:'(

I don't deserve it. I dont deserve this..someone should spank me 10 times with a kayu rotan.

........

And this didnt just happen on its own.

Today is scheduled for the practical and oral exam. Supposedly you take the practical exam first in groups and then head on individually for oral exam. Me being my late self, thinking the arabs are always even more late, arrived in gamaah only to find out that the students had loooong finished the practical exam.

The other doctors were angry. They had to set up the slides and the 25 microscopes again, simply to allow me to take the exam, alone, myself. In the witness of some other students, I felt horribly embarassed. In the mean time i was asked to settle my oral exam first.

I was always late. But this time Allah didn't let me get away easy.

I totally was already broken and down on my knees, in my heart.

I, was always the one to trouble other people.

I, am the loser.

It feels so accomplishing to be this stupid. I cant think of anything about myself except all the negativities.

Yah, apart from stupid that it looked like im failing this exam. A more stupid person is one who repeat the same mistakes. One who aspires so much but kept doing the same things, thinking it'll give out another outcome.

Yah you're so aware of this. When will you change? What will you do to make a change?

I sighed with--why ya Allah.

And i was answered with--why Allah?? Was He the one who caused you this or was it simply you yourself??? Had He ever prevented you from behaving differently or was it you who simply is heedless of things? Had He broken your feet that you had to come in late for the exam? Had He made you blind that you can't read and study? When will you stop being this unappreciative, disrespectful of Him?

I feel like the worst hypocrite alive. I wish to study at UIA, i dream to find the cure for AIDS. I vow to work myself off so i can help the poor and the unfortunate. And my goals are laughing drop down on me. I don't qualify for this.

As i was walking the hallway i thought these people around me, they are great people. Unlike me, im a disappointment. And i dont deserve any good in this life as all im gonna do is be ungrateful of it!
I dont deserve to get angry at anyone for wronging me as i've always wronged others.

.....

Right. Right afterwards i got in an intense hostile conversation with madam mona.

After the sad moment during exam, i rushed to the office in hope to collect my third year books. I was told i can't get them because it was too late as this year's session is already over.

All the while i had procastinated the agenda to collect my books even though i had settle the university fees sometime in June (supposedly i attempted to collect them right after), simply because i find chances a little unfavouring.

I did go 3 times to settle this, 1 ending with me tripped and fell down the stairs. 2 with madam mona being absent. 3 with the riot going on in front of the office i was told to come another time. Next, i was too lazy to go out to gamaah in the heat of the weather (June to July was exam month. Students go to gamaah only on exam days. And now month of October is also my personal exam month as i had to reseat paper!).

I thought with me still having my receipt of payment as proof, i can redeem my books next year. Guess i was wrong. Even though i paid, i was late, so i cant get my books. I am offered though to personally buy the books from each department with my money.

Wow.

And all these people know what to say is, 'i dont know'. 'I can't help'.

Right i was pissed.

O wait a sec, i just promised im not going to be angry at anyone didnt i?

Right. I can cry so much, only to forget and be exact same person afterwards.

Uurrh.

.....

What good thing right now, is to be able to come home to a person who will hear me complain for an hour on myself, and be told...

"Its alright. You're alright. Now promise me starting from this point, you will make decisions that'll  change what you find wrong with yourself all this while.

And you will fail so many times, but never will you ever stop trying. I'll personally make sure you don't.

Trust me, its okay. You'll pass this. You can do this."

(Berangan)

Youre not a baby anymore. And as you grow up you will have to make  decisions and carry them out independently, on your own.

.......

Is it ever possible that you can be such a loser in fact, but you are the absolute best to someone else that they will hang in there with you?

If there is, then its really the indestructible-bound-to-success backup support system one can ever have.

Farewell Ramadhan.

Ramadhan dah pun habis.

Its not that aku solat terawih penuh pun..ada gak pontengss huhu :( So last year was better in that case. Though so, overall the 'heart' tu feels more involved this year Alhamdulillah. Means last year solat pun hati kosong. Ramadhan pun kosong je. Lebih excited bila nak raya tuu.

Nevertheless, no doubt perkara yang boleh kira best dapat experience masa ramadhan is that moment we stand in solat, just listening to the ayats recited by the imam. Really beautiful. And we dont get it any other time yknow. We dont stand that long in solat, we dont pray that much except in ramadhan.

I memorized like haha two small surahs only during this whole month. Surah Jumuah and Surah Munafiqun. The 2nd ayat of Surah Jumuah tells about how Allah sent us a messenger to RECITE His Ayaats upon us, to CLEANSE/PURIFY our hearts. So that is what we hope on when hearing the imam in our qiyam in solat. Even though you dont understand it. Thats another thing, i feel so lucky alhamdulillah that my parents sent me to a sekolah agama, know some basic arabic words. And since the quran has a lot of repetitions, its easy to understand some parts kan! The moment you recognized the ayat recited by the imam, perhaps you had listened to Nouman's explanation on, it easily overtook you.

.......

Q: "How can you feel calm at the recitation of Quran when you dont even understand it?"

A: "How is a baby comforted by her mother's voice?" -Dr Jeffrey Lang

SubhanAllah!

........

Besides hoping on the majestic purifying action of the ayaats of Quran, for myself the feelings you should have when listening is that you take each ayat as it is, that is--Allah is speaking to you, REMINDING YOU PERSONALLY.

Each time the -- يا ايها الذين امنوا -- etc ring the eardrum of our ears, it should alert us.

Each time the story of the past nations are mentioned, we apply a FEARING heart.

Each time Allah promises the good life for believers in Jannah, we ignite the HOPING WORRYING heart.

Each time Allah prohibits us from something, if we've ever done it, we apply the REMORSE heart. If we havent done it, we seek REFUGE to Allah from ever committing such.

Each time Allah commands us of something, we turn on a DETERMINED WILLING heart.

Each time Allah says something like "So FEW people who are grateful/believe/fearing", we feel SAD, Almighty Merciful Allah does not deserve this from us!

When He Glorifies Himself in beginning and ending of surahs, we BELITTLE ourselves, Ya Allah we never glorify You as how You deserve to be glorified.

And all of this is just REMEMBERING ALLAH. Reminding us who we are, and where we'll return, and how nothing of everything that matters to us now, is ever so worthy then.

....

And on top of that, there's a hadith saying Allah LOVES a solat done, with a LONGG QIYAM (stand longer). Yup. We are grateful to Allah that we are given that opportunity in Ramadhan and we hope Allah will have redha upon us.

Orang mcm kita tak hafal Quran, mana ada solat standing lama, surah pun hafal sikit. Huu. Surah pun tak baca selalunya! Kalau buat seorang pun, tak berapa semangat seperti Ramadhan and i dont know why, i like it better, in jemaah where im listening rather than i myself recite =.= hope its not a bad thing!

Ya Allah. Would be so wonderful if i can have that moment someday, as everyday, before subuh in a long standing solat, even if its 2 rakaat, jemaah with my husband, who memorize a lot of quran himself (sebab lelaki kene solat di masjid kan. Bila lagi nak jemaah dengan isteri kalau tak masa solat sunat, betul tak? Hehe).

.....

Tapi yelah selalunya, aku ni malas, mendatangi solat pun dalam keadaan nak habis cepat.

NAK ada cakap, kita belajar apa2 pun dalam bab ilmu agama terutama quran (tafseer, tajweed, bahasa arab dll), adalah sebab kita nak perbaiki solat kita. Bukan sebab lain, tapi hanya kerana nak PERBAIKI SOLAT. Tujuan utama hidup kita kan, sembah Allah mengabdikan diri kepadaNya. So kalau selama ni kita dengar lectures, baca quran, belajar quran, hafal quran tapi usaha itu tak menyumbang kepada solat yang lebih baik, TAKDE POINT. RUGI. TAK CAPAI MATLAMAT. Confused matlamat mungkin.

Lepas tu NAK tegur how kita solat hanya baca surah pendek JEE..??

Wow! Hebatnya dia. Hardcore punya teguran. Menggesa pada perubahan besar....dan berat..the whole mindset, attitude, heart, iman itself--towards Allah ! I mean like aku baca Fatihah je koot? :/

Ramadhan Kareem!

Rmadhan kareeemm !

Yeaah kat Mesir ni diorang tak wish--Ramadhan Mubarak! Sebab tak suka nama Mubarak reminds them of their ex dictator, Hosni Mubarak. There's even a train station named Mubarak from before the revolution, now its slashed and changed to--Shuhada'. Hehe the cliche.

Was just done with my Taraweeh. Its an 8 rakaat plus 3 witir, but it took until 11 pm. Its rather dangerous for ladies these days to go out at night even for taraweeh, but thank god Alhamdulillah I have anak baba (named Eman), she's a casual to the masjid for taraweeh and i can tag along. Least can get out of the house and talk with someone rather than myself for one whole day.

Pengajaran Nabi Musa dan Tongkat

One not so fine day aku mengeluh pada ayah tentang hati dan perasaan aku dalam email yang sangat panjang. Hehe.

Tentang masa lalu yang berat untuk ditanggung dan kebenaran yang pahit untuk ditelan.
Ayah menceritakan pada aku, pengajaran disebalik kisah Nabi Musa as dengan tongkat baginda. Pengajaran yang hebat, yang aku cuba jadikan  pegangan dan sebahagian dari prinsip hidup aku sekarang.

....

Nabi Musa sering berjalan membawa tongkat ditangannya. Tongkat tersebut membawa bermacam kemudahan dalam urusan hidupnya.

Monologue 2

Sometimes watching a movie inspires you. The characters in it, how they fought hard to achieve their dreams, how they really wanted it, harnessed so much energy from their life to it. Amidst hanging out and living the road taken carefree with families and friends. Laughing and crying and just loving it and everything.

From the major things for an Academy of Arts students, wanting to make it to the stage, dedicated to it, practicing till late night everyday with the dance moves, memorizing scripts etc...To the minor constitutive qualities of a normal living person who respect elders, cares for friends, put others first, tries hard to please the grandfather walaupun character atuk dia unreasonably garang dan banyak songehnya. (Haha rightt the heroin dalam ni sangat cute. And i always fail to recall nama dorang lol)

Orang dalam movie tu pun sangat sibuk dengan life dia. Ada vision dan sedang berusaha. Kita dengan life kita? Buang masa tengok movie. Cop bukan movie. Tapi drama. 15 jam punya drama.

Drama bukan drama apa. Drama yang mampu buat kita nangis gelak senyum gembira terharu walaupun bertentangan emosi sebenar kita. Drama yang mampu indoctrine values dalam diri kita, consciously or subsconciously, good or bad, semua kita 'ter'telan. Gee hebat kan effect drama2 ni.

Semestinya, the people behind the drama pun must have worked hard in coming up with such jugak. Real life people yang menjayakan the drama tu pasti juga sedang sibuk dan berusaha dengan life diorang, buat movie/drama, scripting, acting, shooting, producing.

Their life, their goal, their work is to entertain. And see how they're really good and exceptionally creative at it? They came out with the drama, make money from it, gain lotsa popularity. Got what they wanted. Congratulations and good job for them !

Right. Everyone may have and attain and become profoundly successful basically at anything they wish for in life. No matter what. You may conquer them all. It only takes you to WANT. IT. WORK. HARD. FOR. IT. Just really fight and sacrifice yourself, time and energy, develop the skills for making it happen.

Now where or when is the 'congratulations and good job!' for you?

Seriously. Get a life.

And stop acting like a loser.

Belajar. Belajar. Belajar. Orang walau takde agama hebat dengan field diorang. Because they really usaha. Man jadda wajada. Allah bagi. Orang beragama diuji dan terlalai. Malu membawa title 'orang solat' dengan habit dan tendency macam ni.

Kalau ada kat malaysia with the privilige high speed internet, tv pun malas nak tengok. Kat sini? Confusee -.-'

Hmm macam mana nak 'get busy'? Like really busy with our priorities and betul2 istiqamah.

Tahu tak each of those words in those books will be answers to the questions people will ask you? Answers that will solve people's problems. Answers you will need to help people. Answers that will constitute your judgements and actions masa practical years nanti?

Ilmu tu farhah. Seriously bukan pasal tak nak cari ilmu, tak amal, tapi tak sayang ilmu tu lah rugi seruginya!

Pheuw.

Exam ni. Jangan banyak berangan dan jiwang. Please.

....

Hikmah.

Terkejut jugak.

Tiba2 bukak notification phone. Nampak nama and gambar yang 'ganjil' tapi 'diketahui' tu.

'Deena Makayla likes your photo on instagram'

Bukak2, hilang pulak noti tu.

So it was accidentally liked and quickly unliked.
Stalk aku la tu. Hahah takde maknanyaa.

I know i kept my instagram unprivate.

Oh well.

Terus aku cite kat syera. Syera pulak tetiba nak tengok gambo diorang.

Aku pun cakap lah nama fb dia. Admit it! We gossip, we stalk, SOMETIMES. Of course at most other times we should be having better things to do!

Hmm.

Hati aku?

Biasa je. ALHAMDULILLAH.

Dah lama aku rasa macam ni. Sikit sikit tambah tambah jadi bukit. Lama2 makin neutral. Makin redha. Makin rasa tenang je tengok dia bahagia. Yup dia. Dia whose caused you so much pain in the past.

Time passes and we progressively change to be different persons in our own different worlds. Dia jumpa orang yang sesuai dengan jiwa dia. Aku? Aku pun harap aku jumpa that other half of me. Being a weak lalang, i need orang yang berilmu dan tegas berpandukan ilmu. Yang boleh memimpin, menjadi guru buat aku. Whom i get to look up to and give in with utter obedience and love.

......

Yang paling best sekali, tengok kat profile dia, dia sibuk post pasal agama Islam. (Walaupun byk jugak embarrassing posts yang merepek. Excused)
:'))

InsyaAllah. Allah betul2 dengar doa aku dalam senyap.

Ever been to a situation where you're persistently asking explicitly, what is the hikmah? And knowing it as THE fact, settles your heart, over the lots of losts and regrets.

To be a part of someone's journey to Islam, his minor twitches of awakening, at least the little tiny bits of it, is okay to compare to all the 'misfortune' and mistakes i made in my life.

I still remember that day, i taught him the syahadah. How he was 'pelat'ly repeating after me. I was myself not a good practicing muslim though.
I even got 'practicer' after the tormentual heart wrecked episode of my life ! This type of unfortunity is what leads me closer to My Lord, i would conclude.

Ayah pun, he accepts that period of time of his first daughter's ultimate rebellion, baring utter dissappointment and grief all because of her, as something 'essential' that Allah has planned out, even 'bad' in its essence, but its for the best, for me.
I guess.

.....

And theyre planning to get married.

Aww. Thats beautiful ! Ending a relationship with the lots of struggles and turmoils finally with marriage is really a wonderful thing.

And for the couples with--if i can say--a 'morally distorted' relationship from the religious point of concern, having to make it through until that grand day, it feels to me like Allah's giving you the chance to fix yourselves and repent and move on with one another perhaps this time in a blessed way.

Cuz everyone wishes and wants to be married, with the person theyre standing next to. But we can hope a lot, plan alot, cry a lot, but we'll never know for sure, who is it really gonna be for us. Whose name Allah has written for us years before we ever existed. And to those who ended the mystery and succeeded, congratulations!

.....

And for those whose plans dont go as they wish...

Ya Allah.

Allah knows best. Kene betul2 belajar didik diri untuk berserah.

And most importantly not to give it all out on something as obscure as this. Itu la sebab, budak sekolah jangan sibuk dok gewe! Lelaki dengan perempuan kene ada batas pergaulan. Jangan sampai ada penglibatan perasaan yang tak tahu adalah berbaloi atau tak. Hati manusia berubah2. The situations and circumstances pun berubah. Tak stabil. Rugi jika dilaburkan saham untuknya.

Nasihat for the present and future time.

.....

For the past. Oh well.

'Experiences are bought with losts. So no lost is ever a lost'

-quoted from twitter-

Time is a really great healer.

InsyaAllah.

Ana miskin

Dalam menghadapi orang2 miskin peminta sedekah disekeliling kita sekarang. Mereka akan tarik2 tangan kita meminta duit, kalau kita tak bagi, kita takde duit, mereka mungkin akan mencubit atau membaling batu pada kita. Kalau kita bagi duit, mereka mungkin meminta lagi dan mungkin merampas semua duit di tangan kita. Apabila kita berbaik dan percaya mereka, mereka mungkin mengkhianati kita.

Apa pendirian kita terhadap mereka?

Dalam mencari satu pendirian dalam hidup, perlulah kita rujuk kepada contoh yg terhebat Allah telah hadiahkan kepada kita. Nabi Muhammad saw. Nabi adalah manusia hebat di mata Allah, dalam hatinya ada kelembutan, kesederhanaan, kasih sayang.

Ingatlah pesan Nabi saw. BALASLAH KEBURUKAN DENGAN KEBAIKAN.

Yang utama sekali, perlulah Al Quran menjadi rujukan kita. Berdasarkan khutbah oleh Nouman Ali Khan in 'Who are the People of Taqwa', beliau mengisahkan tentang kejadian fitnah yang telah menimpa ummul mukminin kita, Aisya RA. Kita semua tahu cerita itu. Tapi tahukah kita, siapakah orang yang telah menfitnah dan berniat busuk menjatuhkan maruah Aisya dan Nabi saw? Dia adalah seorang lelaki miskin, yg mana selama ini, ayah Aisya sendiri iaitu Abu Bakar Ra selalu memberi 'allowance' 'wang belanja' kepada dia. Disebabkan kemarahan Abu Bakar terhadap fitnah yg disebarnya, Abu Bakar menghentikan perbelanjaan yg selalu diberikan kepada lelaki itu. Logik bukan? Adil bukan?

TETAPI, Allah malah menegur/menasihati Abu Bakar dgn turunnya Ayat 22 dalam Surah Annur.

"Dan janganlah orang yg MEMPUNYAI KELEBIHAN DAN KELAPANGAN diantara kamu  bersumpah bahawa mereka tidak akan memberi bantuan kepada kerabatnya, orang2 miskin dan orang yang berhijrah dia jalan Allah. HENDAKLAH MEREKA MEMAAFKAN DAN BERLAPANG DADA. APAKAH KAMU TIDAK SUKA BAHAWA ALLAH MENGAMPUNIMU?..."

Mereka adalah orang miskin. Malah ada yang tidak mempunyai bapa. Sudah hilang sumber pencarian hidup pada umur seawal 11 tahun kebawah pun. Hidup beratapkan khemah, beralas tanah, beserta lalat2.  Waktu sejuk tiada comforter tebal, tiada heater. Waktu panas tiada kipas, kemudahan air juga terhad. Dinding batu mereka tiada untuk melindungi diri dari hebatnya extreme suhu bumi mesir ini!

Ada yang berkata, "kenapa budak2 ni tak bekerja, tak pergi belajar". Wallahi sewaktu kita berumur sebegitu, kita hidup enak senang lenang dibawah tanggungan ibu bapa! Mereka semuda itu, miskin tidak punya siapa2, hidup merempat adakah itu kehendak mereka? Bagaimana kalau Allah menggantikan kedudukannya dengan kedudukanmu?! Mampukah anda? Dalam keadaan hidup yang sempit dan mendesak, takde pembimbing, pemikiran akal mentah typical budak2, dapat duit, beli jajan laa. Mana ada fikir nak beli buku.

Mereka kerja ke, tak kerja ke, sendiri malas nak kerja ke, itu bukan masalahnya. Mereka KANAK-KANAK!  Duduk atas jalan sepanjang panas terik matahari, sepanjang sejuk beku musim winter, meminta wang, itulah kot kerja mereka. Tanggungjawab kita adalah berkongsi, memberi apa yang mampu, pada yang meminta, yang kurang bernasib baik. Kalau hebat lagi boleh jumpa gabenor mesir, usulkan macam mana nak basmi kemiskinan dalam masyarakat mesir. Sedangkan i dividu terpelajar eg doktor kerja hospital kerajaan pun kerajaan hanya bagi gaji 1000le~500rm. 

Ada yang bersahaja berseloroh, "oh tengok tu budak2 tu belanja beli coklat/air/jajan mahal". Biarlah mereka pun nak rasa apa yang kita tiap2 hari beli tu. Sekali sekali belanja diaorang makan makanan nasi, ayam, coklat mahal, mereka pun nak merasa yang lain, selain makanan harian mereka tok miah dan sayur mentah!

Ada yang bertanya "mengapa mereka begitu kurang ajar kurang adab?" Wallahi kita dihujani kasih sayang dan didikan melimpah ruah pada umur sebegitu, malah sepanjang hidup kita! Kita punya keluarga, makan minum cukup terjamin setiap hari, Allah menghujani kita dengan bermacam rahmatnya. Allah menguji kita dengan kehadiran golongan yang tidak berkemampuan di sekeliling kita. Seharusnya kita merendah diri, mensyukuri nikmatNya, bukti kesyukuran itu dengan mentaatiNya. Mengasingkan dan mengagihkan sebahagian harta kita sebagai HAK buat mereka. Janganlah kita menghina mereka, kerana kita menghina takdir yang Allah telah tetapkan buat mereka.

Di nasihatkan strictly untuk tidak bawa mereka masuk rumah, ye. Banyak kes yang telah berlaku. Tapi janganlah sekali2 kita membenci mereka. Jangan sesekali tawar hati utk menghulurkan segenih dua pada mereka. Tegurlah tapi jangan bersikap kasar dgn mereka.

Dan apabila dibantu dan diramahi mereka, tak perlu ada ruang dalam hati untuk merasakan betapa 'baiknya' 'generousnya' diri kita. Apa yang kita ada, Allah yang beri, untuk dibelanjakan semula pada jalanNya. Ia HAK  mereka. Bukan milik kita pun pada hakikatnya. Betapa Allah mengasihi orang2 miskin terutama anak2 yatim melalui ayat2Nya. Sewajarnya mereka kita kasihi.

KINDNESS IS NEVER CONDITIONAL.

Dengar cerita ada lelaki melayu atau indonesia yang sampai memukul mereka. Ya mereka memang kadang2 mencabar kesabaran kita. Tapi..? Wallahuaklam. Boleh fikir sendiri. Semoga diberi kecerahan.

Monologue 1

First practical exam on Pathology wass..okay...i guess. Entah but i came out with an Alhamdulillah. Its not anywhere awesome pun, at all! Tapi its not the the kind of worst that you fear, which could have happened yknow. Thank you Allah !

...

Malam getting shorter with maghrib at 6.30pm and subuh around 3.40am. Kalau tidur pukul 10 malam pun masih susah nak bangun awal. Terbukak mata mesti nak sambung tidur lagi.. Sombong betul! Kalau boleh bangun utk subuh apa susahnya bangun at least 10 minit awal. Asal dapat 2 rakaat tahajud tuu sebelum azan tuu :(

But im talking right now with full conscious. Problem is bila time nak bangun tidur tuu, jeez, a totally heedless ignorant human like she never can die one -.-' (sad fact)

With exam mood going on malam mesti TERRlelap secara kurang sedar. So Al-mulk, zikir, doa hilang terbang ke mana. Itu tu ke sebabnya? Tapi before exam al mulk okay pun susah goks nak bangun. Banyak buat dosaa nii farhah. Atau dulu masa Allah bagi kemudahan tu, kau riak kot. Hah dah kene tarik balik. Susah nak kawal hati yg suka suki merasa ni, terlajak fikir itu fikir ini (ujub, sombong, pandang rendah orang etc). Kene byk istighfar.

Syifa and Siti, masih tegar dgn tahajud malam diorang. Hebat sangat. Dan jeles sangat sangat! Yang best sekali, terserlah pada peribadi syifa, walaupun outwardly nampak garang sikit (hehehe), dia seorang yg sangat sabar and redha jee selalu...hmm sayangnya tat dia. Atau mungkin pada didikan family dia. Mak dia walau bekerja tak pernah miss utk prepare breakfast untuk dia and adik2 lain. Pergi sekolah bawak bekal masakan confirm halalan toyyiban air tangan ibu. Kismis, madu makanan sunnah etc wajib mak dia bagi makan tiap hari. Naik dalam kereta abah nak hantar sekolah, ramai2 baca doa naik kenderaan. Sweet kan? Dari kecik membesar dengan didikan mcm tu. And bukan calang2 also, her abah kerja besarr kat Arab Saudi. Considered family 'senang', tapi tengok syifa, dia bersederhana and tudung labuh pula. Hmm sejuk hati :)

...

Eh terngumpat orang pula huhuu sorry. Qudwah hasanah la in shaa Allah untuk diri sendiri.

Okay dah azan asar.