Ramadhan Kareem!

Rmadhan kareeemm !

Yeaah kat Mesir ni diorang tak wish--Ramadhan Mubarak! Sebab tak suka nama Mubarak reminds them of their ex dictator, Hosni Mubarak. There's even a train station named Mubarak from before the revolution, now its slashed and changed to--Shuhada'. Hehe the cliche.

Was just done with my Taraweeh. Its an 8 rakaat plus 3 witir, but it took until 11 pm. Its rather dangerous for ladies these days to go out at night even for taraweeh, but thank god Alhamdulillah I have anak baba (named Eman), she's a casual to the masjid for taraweeh and i can tag along. Least can get out of the house and talk with someone rather than myself for one whole day.

Yaah did i mention? I'm all alone in the house now. Rumah atas rumah bawah semua balik. Errrrgghh jelles okay! But then again, they had their share, they were all out studying and were done with the exam when i was still playing around and am still NOT done with my exam soo..haha. Perhaps its for the best. Though the house does feel a little silent and empty and scary. And I feel alone. Right don't cry now crybaby! =D

I'm learning to appreciate the time alone, by the end of the day anyway, we're all alone and disconnected from everything we have we own, except for whats between us and Allah. Only. That. Stays. Solid. Remain solidly ours forever. 

So for this Ramadhan as what Nouman Ali Khan keeps insisting, cut off ourselves from ALL ghaflaa. All useless, heedless, wasting time stuffs. And start establishing a relationship with the Quran. Make lots of dua. Make dua like a two year old, be as nagging and insisting and annoying as we can. Fuuh. Personally for me, i hope for a way to be paved, with strong will mustered,  for me to have the serious opportunity to know and study and live by Quran. So far i'm wishy-washy targetting to memorize a few Surahs and accordingly study the tafseer. And then can recite in solat hopefully works for Khusyuk. (Solat yang Allah suka adalah yang lama berdirinya--A hadith i forgot which riwayat) But I'd love it if i can just start with Baqarah because its the surah I'm about to finish the cover to cover rough tafseer. Tapi. Rather not get hard on myself nanti tengah jalan daaah pancit. Kan? Hmm.

...

How to cleanse your heart and purify them, for Ramadhan to make its way and AFFECT US LIFELONG?

Wash your heart. With Lots of water.

Lots of water is :

Lots of Quran.

Lots of Zikr.

If its not that effective, our hearts still feel hard and cold, then perhaps we forget the Soap.

Soap is :

To make all our amal and ibadah with the feeling of...

FEAR. Fear of Hell fire. Fear of Allah's murka. 

HOPE. Hope of Allah's mercy and sympathy. Hope to see Nabi SAW smiling on us. Hope to see The Face of Allah Azza Wa Jal.

...

They ask how is the balance between hope and fear?

Sheikh Omar Al Banna:

"For as long as you are healthy, full of energy, with so much life ahead of you, then you should FEAR Allah MORE than hope. And when you are sick, old and helpless that is when you deserve to HOPE on Allah MORE".

Sahabah's Dua:

"Ya Allah throughout my life, I had fear of You (I fought against myself and dunya in fulfilling Your commandments of solat, zakat and jihad). Now I am in my deathbed, to You I hope."

...

Talk about Zikir. Never was a casualty of mine to do so except the 99 after solat jemaah with the girls. Tapi, that day i tried practicing it--with zaharah's tasbih counter tu. AND ITS SO AWESOME! I mean like while you're sitting waiting for your friend, seeing them talking or whatever, you move your lips for Zikr, and press on the tiny button accordingly. Tengok2 eh dah 200 kali selawat. Its a big push to continuously amal and make a habit of zikir. There's one type of tasbih counter tu, mcm jam@cincin boleh wrap around fingers. Pretty cool. Planning to get one for all my beloved. Ibu always make zikr in the car she would definitely love it! Hee =DD