One Normal Day

sitting in the office, facing my netbook, loads of task to run, listening to taylor swift-the best day,, im so in the dreamy-emo-loner mood today, suddenly, i mean like, i feel, that i really wanna dedicate this song,


"The Best Day"
I'm five years old
It's getting cold, I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh And look up smiling at you, I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch And the tractor rides, Look now -- the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep On the way home


I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best dayWith you today


I'm thirteen now And don't know how my friends Could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive Until we've found a town Far enough away
And we talk and window-shop Until I've forgotten all their names


I don't know who I'm gonna talk to Now at school
I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day With you today


I have an excellent father
His strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out He's better than I am


I grew up in a pretty house And I had space to run
And I had the best days with you


There is a videoI found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen And you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships And the seven dwarfs
Daddy's smart And you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world


Now I know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side
Even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine
And I didn't know if you knew
So I'm taking this chance to say
That I had the best day With you today


i know the reality is not as beautiful as this song, the whole lyric, but the melody is enough to resemble the warmth i see in you. yes i see it. i realize. 


so im taking this chance to tell you, that i do. though i grumble throughout of it, i do see. i do understand . those little sacrifices, those little deeds, those little words, those little quietness you had when i actually can see that you're actually mad at me, little by little till when i learnt of why trees change in the fall, i'd do something, you were the only one who's capable of making me have second thoughts , people around is saying it 24/7, i've been admitting it, but when it comes to you, i actually take it in. it strikes right in. straight through the heart . it was strength and hope for me, and it still is. Samsul Kamal Rosli, you have the magic miracle of a true father.

So Thank You Cute Guy!

so yeah that day. was saturday. i was at the on the escalator near that topshop in klcc, going down, with my bf beside me. suddenly i saw this man. looking at me. he had his hair tide back and up. wearing this shirt. he's like ,.. an artist, photographer,. yeah. the way he dress. the dreamy cool guy kinda type. and he was still looking AT ME. wtv. 


so we proceed until my bf's having trouble with the autopay. people are queueing behind us to pay. its kinda crowded and i dunno its like awkward having two persons sticking our faces to the autopay so i thought id just let my guy handle the troublesome autopay crap. so i turn around only to find this guy , this tall , cute, dark eyebrows, square face sculpture, nice shirt, you know. hes like calllingfor me i thought hes gonna ask on yeah wtv like how to operate the autopay wtv. so i approach him. you guess what he said. this is perhaps his exact words,


 " HAVE YOU BY ANY CHANCE BEEN INTO MODELLING? " 


my jaw dropped, on the inside of course i wouldnt wanna ruin the "nice beautiful me" of first sight he had for me that eventually entitled me to be questioned of that certain type of question from the certain type of guy. you know. my god im a goddess. HAHHA. cut the crap out! i practically whispered inside me. then i came back to my senses and replied in swagger. "NO THANK YOU ...BLABLABLA " and gracefuly walk away with my bf finally overcoming the stupid autopay problem. 


" WHAT ABOUT HOSTING?! " again he asked.


in the car i cant stop myself from thinking feeling sooooo happy high. wooh. it was a great feeling . just to clarify, im the insecure kinda type. i get sad and depressed easily when it comes to the way i look, the way i express myself, the way i bring myself. always looking in the mirror, wishing for a pointier nose. all the zitss pls go away. i wanna have that mesmerizing smile and that shine on my face like i see pregnant ladies have, or beautiful gorgoeus actresses , jessica biel in exact. i just love her warmth that shes got all over her face and smile. i envy them. envy my flawlessly beautiful friends. and i hate myself. one day i wanna make over my face. yeah till that extent. i know. pity me. so yall get the idea of how greatfully thankfully happy i am to be having this typa incident. SO THANKS CUTE GUY. YOU MADE MY DAY. i just prayed he didnt noticed or having second thoughts if he saw my horrible zits. hahaa

The Netbook

well as yall should know, they recently successfully ran this nice, ok pc fair at klcc convention centre. i went there. browse around, i saw this cute netbook. its yellow. yes YELLOW in colour. samsung N150. RM1299. free external dvd writer that cost RM249. free 4gb pendrive. and an ugly mouse + an uglier pouch. but overall its a steal. a nice buy. i cancelled to hang out with my bf just to get back home early and "lobby" ibu to buy me one. and fortunately YES she agreed! with of couurse loads of sometimes unfulfillable terms and conditions. duhh typical of my mother. we went that same night just to find out that it closes at 9pm, the exact time we arrived.


so yeah. wasted the RM7 parking fee. shit why the hell should it be that expensive. they blew my day off. gosh why is it for me , i cant never sabar, my god i hated to wait. why cant i just be like, okay, perhaps today takde rezeki can see tomorow . if its fated that i will own a new laptop then for sure i will no matter if the earth shakes out its magna or wtv. you know. so yeah chill la. if its not so fated then come on its not the end of the world . perhaps you'll get better ones in the future. there must be reasons for everything thats happening in the world. you just got to start looking for one rather than feeling helplessly option-lessly depressed and down for no reason wasting the real life ahead of you before the unfortunate situation you know. hell gimme a break. god help me pass through this lying world. (which so far im obviously too engrossed overwhelmed with , pity me)




but then here i am , typing letters on my brand new yellow netbook :) (we went and buy the next day..after all the sulking and faces i made from the morning, my mum surrendered)

A Fridge Frenzy

A Fridge Frenzy? Frenzy, in english means a state of great excitement, or fear. while a fridge is...a fridge. its filled with a variety of stuff. bitter sweet chocolate, sour mayonnaise, salty ikan kering (which my dad usually brings whenever he went outstationto sarawak), sweet oranges, the stinkin' meat, even some nasty yellow patches (which indicates the decades of hardly-ever-scrubbed fridge). But never to forget the coolness it emits all throughout, maintaining all of its inside fresh. so in short, a fridge resembles my life. the great excitement, sometimes fear, and all sorts of feelings from the simplest to the compicated-est i've experienced while encountering life.


I loved to write diaries. for now i figured i have 4,5 of notebooks honoured to be resembled as a diary of mine. i tell everything. people dont understand then aint no problem for me, cuz my diary does. he takes me all the same similar i intended to give, and i am somebody. i have my own reasons. i know myself. or perhaps at least i am trying to.


Until 1 day, at that point of time, i had somehow lost myself in a way, i feel almost all the time, that i just dont know. i was just shooting all the bullets out with no aim. just wasting my time, following my heart, doing what i feel like doing, never thought of the consequences, thinking that doing this in some way wont effect that long and will die through time so i have nothing lo lose, giving myself excuses that this is the way i ought to enjoy my teen years. HAHAA. and to tell you the truth i still feel this same way. so i thought perhaps if i just stop for once, and think clearly in a sense that im actually able to write it out then perhaps i'll find myself again. be able to actually look inside me, able to answer the question, what am i doing? why am i doing this? the answers can actually map out who i am, who i wanna be. so i thought, YES I WILL NOW START WRITING AGAIN, ONLY THIS TIME TECHNOLOGY INTRODUCE ME TO WHAT THEY CALL, A BLOG.


so HELLO BLOG, :)