Hikmah.

Terkejut jugak.

Tiba2 bukak notification phone. Nampak nama and gambar yang 'ganjil' tapi 'diketahui' tu.

'Deena Makayla likes your photo on instagram'

Bukak2, hilang pulak noti tu.

So it was accidentally liked and quickly unliked.
Stalk aku la tu. Hahah takde maknanyaa.

I know i kept my instagram unprivate.

Oh well.

Terus aku cite kat syera. Syera pulak tetiba nak tengok gambo diorang.

Aku pun cakap lah nama fb dia. Admit it! We gossip, we stalk, SOMETIMES. Of course at most other times we should be having better things to do!

Hmm.

Hati aku?

Biasa je. ALHAMDULILLAH.

Dah lama aku rasa macam ni. Sikit sikit tambah tambah jadi bukit. Lama2 makin neutral. Makin redha. Makin rasa tenang je tengok dia bahagia. Yup dia. Dia whose caused you so much pain in the past.

Time passes and we progressively change to be different persons in our own different worlds. Dia jumpa orang yang sesuai dengan jiwa dia. Aku? Aku pun harap aku jumpa that other half of me. Being a weak lalang, i need orang yang berilmu dan tegas berpandukan ilmu. Yang boleh memimpin, menjadi guru buat aku. Whom i get to look up to and give in with utter obedience and love.

......

Yang paling best sekali, tengok kat profile dia, dia sibuk post pasal agama Islam. (Walaupun byk jugak embarrassing posts yang merepek. Excused)
:'))

InsyaAllah. Allah betul2 dengar doa aku dalam senyap.

Ever been to a situation where you're persistently asking explicitly, what is the hikmah? And knowing it as THE fact, settles your heart, over the lots of losts and regrets.

To be a part of someone's journey to Islam, his minor twitches of awakening, at least the little tiny bits of it, is okay to compare to all the 'misfortune' and mistakes i made in my life.

I still remember that day, i taught him the syahadah. How he was 'pelat'ly repeating after me. I was myself not a good practicing muslim though.
I even got 'practicer' after the tormentual heart wrecked episode of my life ! This type of unfortunity is what leads me closer to My Lord, i would conclude.

Ayah pun, he accepts that period of time of his first daughter's ultimate rebellion, baring utter dissappointment and grief all because of her, as something 'essential' that Allah has planned out, even 'bad' in its essence, but its for the best, for me.
I guess.

.....

And theyre planning to get married.

Aww. Thats beautiful ! Ending a relationship with the lots of struggles and turmoils finally with marriage is really a wonderful thing.

And for the couples with--if i can say--a 'morally distorted' relationship from the religious point of concern, having to make it through until that grand day, it feels to me like Allah's giving you the chance to fix yourselves and repent and move on with one another perhaps this time in a blessed way.

Cuz everyone wishes and wants to be married, with the person theyre standing next to. But we can hope a lot, plan alot, cry a lot, but we'll never know for sure, who is it really gonna be for us. Whose name Allah has written for us years before we ever existed. And to those who ended the mystery and succeeded, congratulations!

.....

And for those whose plans dont go as they wish...

Ya Allah.

Allah knows best. Kene betul2 belajar didik diri untuk berserah.

And most importantly not to give it all out on something as obscure as this. Itu la sebab, budak sekolah jangan sibuk dok gewe! Lelaki dengan perempuan kene ada batas pergaulan. Jangan sampai ada penglibatan perasaan yang tak tahu adalah berbaloi atau tak. Hati manusia berubah2. The situations and circumstances pun berubah. Tak stabil. Rugi jika dilaburkan saham untuknya.

Nasihat for the present and future time.

.....

For the past. Oh well.

'Experiences are bought with losts. So no lost is ever a lost'

-quoted from twitter-

Time is a really great healer.

InsyaAllah.