Esok sekolah

First day of class in my last year of Med School. Nervous? Yep. Excited? Sikit. Takut? Very much. Takut ulang kesilapan2 lama yang aku janji tak nak buat dah. Its my last year. If there is that best time to give it my all, its this time. Or else, regret. I can't afford regret 😥😥

Farhah. Boleh ke berubah? They say people don't change. At least the sceptics. Well then the solution would be to not be among the sceptics huh? Lets be optimistic instead. And confident. Haha. Hahahaha. It feels so funny cuz its so---unlike me. Haha. Anyways. I find it from watching too much tv--confidence never gets wasted. No matter if you're actually up to it or not, it boost you up nevertheless. Yes. One problem though, the thin line between confidence and arrogance. I think people gets easily mistaken between the two.

Anyhow. This year supposedly will (has to) be a busy year for me. Busy with books and pouring all my heart and love to medicine. Yes (hello confident Farhah speaking😅😅). I have final year subjects to study AND USMLE Step 1 books to settle (boy those thick books). I guess i haven't mentioned, it took me a month contemplating on seriously taking up USMLE and i had finally decided on it! On the basis that--it is NOW OR NEVER. I wouldn't be blessed with the freedom to read, except for now. Not later when other responsibilities and obligations will deter my focus and wear out my ulat buku enthusiasm.

My plan, I just need to get ECFMG certified by settling those although expensive exams, before getting to work. Whether or not it'll pay off with me getting a spot in that slim 40% chances for Residency in US, depends on rezeki. Confident on anything and everything yg Allah dah decide. I just need to try, work for it. And plus, if i don't make it to residency in the first try, because I'm already certified i can always apply every next year for the Match. In the mean time, can polish my profile, serve the government in housemanship, make money to attend externship etc. Even if i still don't succeed after it all, studying for those exam are still, awesome knowledge.

My mind is too involved in it already i can't turn back. This is the path I'm choosing to go for in my career. Yearning for that experience. That challenge. To step outside my comfort zone and aim for something i never imagined the 5 years ago Farhah would ever even thought about (the naive Farhah whose most exotic dreams are about getting married and becoming a housewife attending to children of 10. LOL 😂😂). The path less likely taken by Malaysian med students. Which frankly is what makes it more interesting.

But first i should start by actually adhering to the time table i had planned, which i never got to efficiently abide by!! Urgh😤😤

Studies, quran, gym and productive sleep cycles. Semua berteraburrr.......

And its 1 am I'm busy updating this post and esok first day of class......how ironic.

Right, productive sleep cycle? Hahahahahahaa.

Ironic Bionic Farhah.

Lets not judge, lets just pray for me, okay? 😋😋

Thank you and goodnight 😙