Its been such a looongg long while huh, since i post up anything. Last posts was when I first got to Egypt, and now, I'm in my final year. Yeeeha! Can you believe it! Time flies by soo fast. From the --teens I'm now in my twenties (going into mid 20's to be exact). Well. Getting older. Blurgh.
Anyhow. Was just done with my 5th Year final exam. One heck of a ride. One ive been avoiding since i got here. The clinical year exams. To be honest, its all scary before, but not so after you've gone through it. Yup i think it applies to all types of fear we may have. Overcome it by confronting it. To not so dwell on what others say about it or what we 'think' about it, but just close our eyes and deal with it. Yes. And the most important key factor, putting your trust in God. That He has the power to make even the toughest of things easy, when He wishes to, that is, when we ask for it.
I still remember that one patient of mine. The one who helped me A LOT through my case taking exam (the kinda exam i hated most where you face a doctor and answer with your lips and instant judgement instead of facing a white paper tackling it down with a pen and time on your hands, lol), which made me got a little praise and a wide smile from my examiner 😊😊
I couldn't have done it, I could have wrecked it. But God willed. It was all Him. And to think of how that morning i was so scared i couldn't answer anything I was so close to dropping that exam (typical me). And it was especially a memorable almost miraculous experience really because the day before i totally flunked my oral exam with this other doctor.........sorry to disappoint you doc. Should have studied better 😔😔😔
Anyways I hope to always remember that patient, that doctor's smile, and that day when i got my results. It was a day of testimony....of my cycles of repeating mistakes, my lackings, this arrogant undeserving self; yet God is unconditionally All Forgiving, All Hearing, All Merciful.
Felt like i owe the world. I owe Him. And it was painful to hear good news of my result because i know myself too well. I fear that even with this grace i still wont change for the better. I can't make up nor even to the tiniest bit at all, towards the people around me, this life, this opportunity and ultimately to my Lord.
Its a long way and I've been walking around and around, moving forward reaaally real slow. I know. But I have no choice but to hope. That i can still make it before i die.
To that person. That kind of person i want to be, before this phase of growth in life is over.
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