Reflect Upon Knowledge

I am so sleepy masyaAllah this is the cost you have to pay for doing last minute work. gggrr. supposedly i drew all these histological structures one after each practical class. now all the work piled up in a bunch and you're just tediously exhausted. pfffttt.

anyways, as i'm slowly passing my time slowly sketching these drawings, i thought i might listen to some songs or play a movie--and make it watch me? herher, naaah, i tuned in to Nouman Ali Khan instead. As in my last post about dealing with quran, i have decided to 'upgrade' my method and purpose of reciting Quran --to study and understand and live by what our Quran teaches. Coincidentally i just khatam the Quran, and now starting again at surah Al Baqarah. i recited 1 page, and watched brother Nouman's tafseer on the page accordingly. I will not move on until i'm satisfied with my understanding and i've acquired the knowledge of what Allah wants from me as He has revealed to me these ayaats.

I strongly suggest every muslim to be doing this, or anything better than just blindly reciting Quran. At this very 'akhir zaman', where the good and bad, right and wrong gets mixed up, leaving us confused and fragile to the very minute yet massive impact from the attacks of syaitan and the world itself, it is very much our utmost and only resort to secure a rightful, also shielded, path towards Allah.

so a few things i learned from the first few pages of Al-Baqarah, it is about 'the hypocrites' or 'munafiq', one of which who acknowledged the fact that they are so and one who doesn't even realize, that they are a munafiq. and it could happen to any one of us with the very-very weak iman we have instilled in ourselves.

The No.1 sign of a munafiq (in this surah) :

A LIAR.

DO NOT tell a lie! don't ever-ever do so thinking nobody would knew, thinking you could get away with something by telling something that is not true. The idea in it of itself is a direct form of refute to our belief, acceding that Allah is not the All-Knower--He is not aware of our lie, and that He is not in power over everything--He is incapable to punish us for it. Altogether certifying that you do not believe, you do not FEAR that He is our one and only Almighty Lord. 

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A WHITE LIE (quoted from Brother Nouman).

Don't bargain truth with a white lie. common example, i  walked in class late and the teacher asked me about it, and i had to muster every ounce of idea left in my brain to talk my way against the fact that i deliberately or not, woke up late. if i can't afford to stand up for my mistake--then please do avoid doing so! stop making late entrance to class! haven't i been taught enough already, am i not in clear consciousness of how Muslims are people of dignity, people of responsibility, the best that any human can be, because they are in constant awareness of Allah ?  :(

It does sound tiny and petty to me, but with this small issue even we ourselves can't handle , we are tolerating the basic building brick of Islam, we are losing Islam. whether its inch by inch, meter by meter, we are losing it. and then we had to whine on how people steal our slippers--at the masjid! how a best friend betrayed our trust. and then how things doesn't go right for us and we end up secretly blaming Allah for it. and further on we question why most muslim countries are chaotic, where is their Islam? and we even get a chance to wonder why other muslims, our friends, our neighbors whoever, are not good muslims as we are? yes its what we do best at. putting the blame, the spotlight on other people's flaws. when we always had the chance to do good, to make a change ourselves. pffffffffffftttt.

Stop saying "its okay, its a small sin". say instead "IT'S SIN, AND ITS NOT OKAY!"
make. a. change.

everybody makes mistakes. it's fitrah. but its not when we live in denial of that mistake, when we cover it up at other people's expense, for our own privilege.  to be perfect is impossible but it doesn't give you a reason to stop trying. and it's never too late. Stopping myself from asking a friend next to me a hint of 1 tiny question, even if when other people around me is cheating in that hall, may seem insignificant, but i have to insist myself on this, on the account that the knowledge has come to me, and i have a responsibility to act upon it. i bare responsibility to Allah. i don't want to cheat or lie anymore. Allah please help me.

لاَ كَبِيْرَةَ مَعَ الاِسْتِغْفَارِ وَ لاَ صَغِيْرَةَ مَعَ الإِصْرَارِ

“Tidak ada dosa besar jika dihapus dengan istighfar (meminta ampun pada Allah) dan tidak ada dosa kecil jika dilakukan terus menerus.”