Drama Addictions

i watched a korean drama, and it took me one whole night finishing it -.- I'm really dissappointed with myself right now. ya Allah where has it gone all my promises to You? WAKE UP FARHAH! this dunia you're living is  a total lie! Don't be deceived. tahu tak how precious time is??? tahu tak how you're running out of it??? and tahu tak there is soo much so many things to do, you can't afford to waste it away like this. ya Allah. When i attended a majlis agama, i often felt this awakening sense of how there are so many things i lack, i don't know, and that there is not a second to waste. all that i'm up to right now, my time given by Allah, He will ask me what good i had acquired by it. i need to learn the Quran, i need to seek more knowledge of You, my deen, i need to study--develop expertise in this medical field i've been entrusted by Allah to conquer. I need to serve people, make good out of everything for myself, and the people around me. And then there is da'wah, my responsibility baring the Syahadah. Generalizing everything, in consciousness of Your presence, i need to be ready, i need to prepare myself, before the day i stand before You. 

But look at me right now? 

ISTIGHFAR. (an advise from a very dear friend)

Yes. ya Allah sincerely from my very heart, i don't know how to demarcate that line i should not cross in everything i do. how to achieve 'moderation' in doing stuffs. Nouman Ali Khan, he doesn't watch filth you know. i guess i'm agreeing with him, its not wise for muslims to be attached to the fallacies and fantasies or dunia, either by addicted to gaming, to facebook-ing, twittering, even movies that does no good to you, which causes you to get 'busy', trapped and limited in the little world you've created of yourself--that's making you unaware of your surrounding, heedless of reality. I mean i cursed  the habit of how boys are so indulged in gaming, their life practically revolves around it. talk about sitting on the couch for hours and hours and hours (even animals can't keep up with this)--living the fantasy life the game evokes. 

o well hello farhah samsul kamal you just stayed awake one whole night sitting on that one tiny chair in front of that laptop and watched a useless drama that gives you nothing but the feeling of 'gedikness?'--'sparks of love?'--nothing but fantasy--again. you are that 'loveless' ah? WHAT BULL?! 

but its not that you can't watch a movie sometime or whenever, still--do you have to allocate the whole night for it? i mean you can go solat tahajjud, pray to Allah kan lagi worthy in the eyes of Allah? lagi valuable in your saham akhirat? walaupun dulu da janji tengok movie once a week, that 'once' can't account for one whole day okay? stop it la stop please stop!

Its funny, its informative and it strikes deep to your heart. WATCH IT!

Ya Allah with this so many temptations of dunia, please teach me, move this heart ya Allah, abolish it from 'ghaflaa' (obliviousness) so that it is more inclined towards what is good, that it is aware of what is right and wrong, what is appropriate and not. ya Allah i need to get a real grip of reality and my stand, keeping up and staying on the 'middle line' living a balanced life of moderation, the life of a Muslim. Ameen.